A journey to self love- One to inspire you to take charge of your confidence
In a world where we love and cherish so many people, do you ever stop and make sure you love and admire yourself? Self love and confidence go hand in hand, and it wasn’t until I had to learn to love myself again that I learned that. Loving yourself is the only way to fully love others and I hope my story can inspire you to take the time to really appreciate the beautiful person you truly are.
Looking to lose weight? Get a promotion? Find love? All of these things are SO much more achievable when you believe in yourself, care for yourself, and love yourself. You can go to the gym 8 days a week but if you aren’t nourishing your body and mind, you could easily fall off because you don’t see the results you’re demanding of yourself. I think we all get lost in pleasing others, we often forget to please ourselves. Here’s my story on the greatest wake-up call of my life.
About 18 months ago, my life changed forever. I was just feeling happy with my postpartum body. I was learning ways to workout despite some painful abdominal separation (Diastasis Recti) that I suffered with badly after my pregnancy. I was finally finding balance with my hypothyroidism and helping nourish my body through it.
And then it all stopped. My body was about to change again, and just like last time, I had no choice.
This was life or death for me. My choices were laid out as simple as that. Choose surgery, and we’re going to complete a double mastectomy. Choose against and your chances of seeing 25 seem bleak.
So I chose what I felt was my only option. I went with what I had to do. And I was left with a set of scars and a new body that I couldn’t recognize.
I remember the night before the surgery. I remember looking at my body and all it’s been through already. Scars had been added but nothing had been taken away. This surgery was going to take. It was going to take a part of me. Something I’ll never get back.
Recovery was awful. It was painful and ugly and I felt like a stranger in my own skin. I would look in the mirror and feel like the most self conscious person in the world because I felt fake.
Did I have a choice in the matter? No. And people choose to enhance their bodies all the time, but I loved how mine was. I was happy with myself. And now? Who the hell was I?
It took months for my body to heal from that, and along with the other medical treatments I was going through, it was even longer for my soul to heal.
I felt lost, mind and body. Like I had gone in for surgery and never came out. I couldn’t imagine a day where I didn’t feel alien to myself.
But slowly, and thankfully, I began to seek encouragement. Zack had been helpful and my biggest fan since day one, and was by my side from the moment I stepped into the surgery. That support felt so uplifting, but only I could learn to love myself. He could love me all he wants to but if I don’t love myself first, nothing else mattered.
So I changed my way of thinking. I thought about how lucky I was to be alive. How amazing my body truly is for first getting me through my pregnancy, and then, just one year after Blake was born, for getting me through breast cancer. What a miracle my body is.
I began to really dive in at my yoga classes. Really pushing myself to connect with the self I felt I had lost.
I began to feel more flexible, more at ease, and more in touch with myself. I continued to eat healthy, but kicked it up a notch. Instead of just healthy, I began eating foods that made me feel great and indulgent.
I made it a point to not just care for myself, but to treat myself with the love I gave to my baby boy or my love. To treat myself to facials and home made treatments that left me feeling relaxed.
I began focusing on my self care. And that made all the difference.
My body could have just given up. My mind and thoughts could have went in a downward pessimistic spiral but I fought hard to win. And I thought I won when I left the surgeons office, but little did I know, the battle was far from over.
To this day, I still have times where I look at myself and think of how my body has changed over the years. But immediately after, I look at my baby boy and think of how amazing life is, and how I’d do it all again just to be here and watch him grow.
I believe my path has made me the strongest I can be. My journey has been a hard one, and I’m sure it’s far from over, but if I have learned anything, it’s that I am in love with myself. My body. My mind. I have conquered some amazing feats and my scars all show that. I may have taken a while to come around, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I have never felt more connected than I do now.
I have never felt more sexy than I do now.
I have never felt more confident than I do now.
I’ve made it through times where I could only pray one day I get out okay.
And I’m so blessed to be on the other side with scars that tell the story of such amazing courage I found.
I truly hope on your own journeys towards loving yourself and your body, that you take the time to appreciate and love your body first, for all it’s done so far. If you’re constantly pressuring yourself and not taking time to thank yourself for the things you do love, it continues to be an uphill battle.
It wasn’t until I finally realized how blessed I am to have my body, my scars, that I finally was able to fall in love with my entire self.
I hope you can find happiness and hope because as humans, we often cut ourselves short of that.
My life may never be the same, but I am so thankful for that.
I now love and work very hard to care for myself. To nurture my being and body. It seems like there is something selfish about taking care of yourself. Like by being selfless all the time and never taking time to evaluate yourself; you’re better. I don’t believe that at all. I don’t believe you can really give yourself to anyone, if you don’t love yourself first. I feel whole again. And that makes all the difference.
Looking for more great self-love reads? Head over to https://byjonniemarch.com/loving-yourself-self-love-self-worth/ to read her take on the best ways to love yourself!
With love and scars,
Books help heal all too! I read a ton of books last year, well not actually read. I had a 9-5 finance job, so I was so glad to have Audible Free Trial [Digital Membership] to listen to over 50 books while at work. Some one the best inspirational books that helped me become me again are below. I hope they help inspire you too!